Un Belize-able

I have to start this blog with a big, ol THANK YOU to Bruce. This has been rough! From planes, trains and boat ferries and automobiles we have now circumnavigated the globe. Bruce and I were ready to throw in the towel and head back home, a full month earlier than we had planned. But then, after canceling our trek to Machu Picchu, we decided to try to end our trip on a high note. We wanted to come back to somewhere tropical, where we could decompress on a beach, chill and dive. We decided on Belize after the multiple positive comments that we'd heard from my brother, Brien. He loves this place and has told us multiple times how great the people are, how good the food is and how nice the beaches are. We were sold. We booked a flight and one week later, we were here in Belize.
Belize is NOT for everyone. In fact, it is not for most of you. I love all of ya'll following this (friends and family) and I'm not trying to insult, i just know that most of ya'll couldn't tolerate a place like this. Belize is SLOW....you don't have the "modern" comforts of stuff like shopping malls, TV, cable, air conditioning, electricity (it is kinda fickle), etc. I know for a fact that my mom and sister wouldn't make it a day here! :) Getting here was a bitch, too! Its easy to get to Belize City, but that wasn't our final destination. We flew from Lima to Miami then Miami to Belize City. The "International" airport in Belize City was not much more than a couple of runways, with a small building at the end. It was not at all what you'd expect from an international airport. Next, we had to catch a local plane to San Pedro Town on Ambergris Caye. It was not a plane by any stretch of the imagination. It was more like a flying box. No seat assingments, no nothing. Just get in where you fit in. Carry on's went on your lap. It was crazy. I could reach up and touch the pilot. To go on that flight seemed like an idiot idea but it was worth it. We were rewarded with a 15 minute flight over the second largest barrier reef in the world.

This would not go over well with the FAA-You can reach out and touch your pilot

The MesoAmerican Reef, second largest in the world

After seeing the "international" airport, i shoulda known that the San Pedro Airstrip would be suspect at best. Upon landing we went into a house and in the garage out the back a guy was unloading our luggage onto a wheelbarrow, contraption to bring bags over. It was surreal.

Baggage carosel, Belizian style

It would help security if the fence actually worked

Downtown San Pedro...in rush hour traffic

Rush hour traffic in downtown San Pedro on Ambergris Caye

 The first thing I noticed about San Pedro was that there were only a couple of cars. The "taxi's" were sometimes just golf carts. Golf carts are the main mode of transportation in Belize. In fact, there are several areas of the island which are inaccessable via car. Once again, because we were planning on staying for about 3 weeks, we decided to rent a room in a lady's house rather than a hotel. We totally lucked up and found a room at the cutest place! The owner, Julie is an amazing expat from Vermont. She bought an old house on the beach 12 years ago, tore it down and built a cute 7 room beach house in its place. We couldn't have found a more perfect place. With only 7 room in the place, we felt more like a family than "guests" at a hotel. We had the opportunity to meet her crazy companion, Captain Baxter, an old grizzled Belizian guy who told us the craziest stories about everything!

Arriving at the house that we stayed at

The cool thing about Belize is that the people are very diverse. Everyone thought we were locals and after being there a couple of weeks, we learned the names of all the neigborhood characters. I also dubbed them nicknames that they may not know about. Crazy Capt'n, Weed man Todd, Meth Man Clinton, Old Street Lady, Bru Man, Coconut Leo and  Big Sexy. Seriously, half these people used these as their actual names!

Coconut Leo, heading up to harvest coconuts...note the lack of safety gear...

Crazy Coconut Leo

Crazy Coconut Leo showing Bruce the art of coconut cracking

I also love the Belizan way of life. It is so "Don't worry be happy". There are no safety rules, kids run around without supervision, its like back when we were growing up and you could play outside without a GPS on or an amber alert. Its also interesting to see the ways people transport their kids here. Did you know it is completely fine to ride with you baby in your arms as you drive a golf cart down an unpaved road? Yep! As long as the kid has some head control, its ok! Also, it is completely acceptable to have 6 children in a golf cart. The back seat should be reserved for kids over 5 but the front seat is for the two and three year old...oh and don't forget your 6 month old that you hold in one arm while you steer with the other...Also, allowing your five year old to swim off of a boat pier while you have a drink at the bar across the street is cool...as long as you can see him from the bar stool. I swear, this is the ONLY place I would raise a child. These kids never get hurt, they don't get snached off the street and they don't need expensive stuff like bike helmets, knee pads or safety gear! You save money on raising kids!!!

Three little boys going out in the ocean to fish...probably will bring back 100lbs of fish!

Baby in the front seat of a golf cart...makes me think of all the money we waste on car seats...

Our boat captain, driving Belizian style

Being in Belize was like taking 20 years off of our lives. We didn't do anything all day but lay around, drink and every now and then, muster the energy to go eat. The food was amazing, a blend of Mexican, African and Carribean flavors with the best seafood you can imagine. Every day was fish or conch. Fish curry, fish tacos, fish pupusas, fish stew...you get the picture.

This was taken at 10AM one day, right after i had my first beer of the day!

My new work ethic..i'm going to put this sign up in my office

After chilling in Belize for almost two weeks, we got the energy up to dive. Actually, we were waiting for Bruce to fully recover from his pneumonia. We went out with a local Belizian dive shop to several local reefs that were rife with life...big life. We saw tons of big Southern stingrays, eagle rays, big tarpon, huge 30+ lb grouper, snapper and my favorite, nurse sharks. Any one that dives knows that one of the first things that you are taught as a diver was to not molest the sea life. Well, these folk in Belize didn't get that memo. They were molesting the hell outta those sea creatures. I saw a dive master grab a nurse shark by its dorsal fin and hitch a ride, then he flipped it over and began petting it like a dog. He beckoned me over, while he's holding the 200+lb shark in his arms and what did I do? Go over, like an idiot and pet the shark! (Hey, you only live once!!!) It was awesome, to be so close to something so big and scary!

We also decided to venture out and see some of the country. Our first foray into the "country" was a 30 minute boat ride over to the next island of Caye Cauker. Now, remember, I told you that Ambergris Caye had only a couple of cars, people mostly walked and used golf carts. It was a slow, quiet way of life. Well, Caye Cauker made Ambergris Caye look like Manhattan. You can't imagine how quiet the island was! You could walk the entire lenght of the island in less than 30 minutes. There were no hotels, only guest houses and rooms for rent. Everyone walked and we didn't see any golf carts. As we strolled down the main beach road in Caye Cauker I thought, "I really needed this break from Ambergris Caye, all the golf cart traffic and huge population of 12,000 people was starting to get to me"....

Hotel option in Caye Cauker

Fast food, Belizian style

Me and the Cake Lady on Caye Cauker

Room accomodations on the cheap!

We had to indulge in the lazy Belizian days and the Palapa bar was a good way to do it! We found this lonely bar, riding a golf cart up a dirt road. It stood over the water and had the most ingenious idea! Let your patrons swim in the ocean and hand them beers and alcohol down via bucket so they don't have to sober up enough to walk up the stairs! Brilliant! Needless to say, we spent hours adrift outside of the bar.

After I read the sign, I was ready to take them up on the offer!

It was a busy day...laying around

We also decided to go to the mainland of Belize to see the ancient Mayan ruins of Lamani. I knew it was an all day trip but I wasn't quite prepared for the all day-ness of it. It was hard for me to actually wake up to an alarm and be somewhere for a scheduled boat. The trip to Lamanai was long but well worth it. It started with a 1 hour boat ride to Belize City, followed by a 1 hour car ride up into the country about 40 miles away from the Mexican border, followed by another one hour boat ride up a river, thru mangrove forests and jungle in oppressive heat to reach the Mayan ruins of Lamanai. It was worth the three hour journey.

Boat ride down the New River in Belize, on the way to the Lamanai ruins

Our "bus" that we took to the dock...I felt like I was going back to the 1970's

You felt like you had stumbled upon an Indiana Jones movie set. After leaving the river dock, we walked thru jungle to a series of perfectly hidden Mayan ruins dating back to 200 BC. Everyone has their ideas about Mayan culture, but if you recall, they were one of the most scientifically advanced cultures in prehistoric times. They developed the perfect calendar (2012 here we come!!!), astrology, medicine and even a written language. To see the ruins of their civilization was humbling. I had touched the Great Wall of China, seen great works of art in Europe and now, I got to scale a 212 foot monument over 2,000 years old! Scaling the monument was also logged under the Dumbest-things-i've-ever-done list. What made me think that climbing up the near vertical face of a 2000 year old monument using just a rope as a "fail-safe", in the middle of a jungle, in a third world country, 3 hours away from the nearest hospital was probably not the brightest thing i've done. But like i said, you only live once! For the 20 minute climb in 100 degree jungle heat we were rewarded with views of the jungle canopy and the river that stretched on for miles. I am not a fan of jungles, mostly because of its main residents, bugs. This jungle was truly alive. We were screamed at by howeler monkeys and kowati, scrambling across the trail. We saw lizards and colorful toucans and thankfully, no spiders! It was a successful day in the jungle!!!!

The Jaguar Mayan Ruin

The Great Lamanai Ruin, standing 212 feet above the ground

The view of the river from the top of the ruin

We made it!!

So now that I got up here...how the hell do i get down?

What goes up, must CLIMB down a tiny ass rope

This had to be one of the best locations EVER! This was the perfect end to an amazing journey around the world. Now that we've finished our trip around the world I can say that this would be my favorite place to live! It has everything we've ever wanted: a slow pace of life, a beach, people that appreciate life and living, diving and an amazing reef and alcohol!!! I never realized how much you don't need in life and what is important. Restauraunts should have dirt floors, no windows and dogs wandering around, a nice restauraunt should require a shirt but not shoes, children should be able to run free, everyone should know each other, streets should be made of sand and not concrete and evenings should be spent listening to the ocean breezes in the palm trees. I haven't put on anything but shorts and flip flops in almost a month and I don't miss anything. I don't need air conditioning, stores, TV, fast food or fancy clothes. This is the way I believe that life should be. You better Belize it!

Check out the pics from our last country, Belize by clicking here

BS in South America

Ok, this will be one of my shortest blogs (lucky you!). I don't have a lot to say about our three weeks in South America. Pretty much, a lot went wrong but not horribly wrong (Thank God!).

The original plan was to leave Spain and take the last long journey across the Atlantic to Buenos Aires, Argentina. The flight was long and painful, even more so because I was still getting over my Spanish Flu. In the airport, I had a nice fever and almost fainted after walking down to our gate! After the flight, we had to make it thru the hell of more immigration and customs in Argentina. The nice icing on the cake? Argentina slaps a HUGE "entry fee" onto people from the US, UK and Australia. We had to come up with $240 just to get in!!! We were pissed. What the hell did we do to get charged so much? (That is a rhetorical question, you KNOW that the US did something to those people for us to get slapped with a nice, F-U fine) Ok, so after the surprise fee we get to luggage, then to change in some money into Argentine pesos. Another surprise! A big ass long line that took me almost 30 minutes to get thru! Ok after the drama, we get into a taxi and take a ride to our apartment. We decided that if you're going to be in a country for a long period of time, it doesn't make financial sense to try to stay in a hotel. Even a B&B is going to cost. Since we had almost 3 weeks in Buenos Aires, we decided to rent an apartment in one of the cool districts of Buenos Aires. Palermo and Ricoleta are two of the nicest areas to live in the city. They are both known for shops and restauraunts, old architecture and very "old world" neighborhood charm. We chose to stay in Palermo neighborhood because it is known for the young, trendy, hip shops and boutiques and all of the new restaraunts. While in the cab, we were tired but excited to see our new digs. We drove and drove and finally got to a neighborhood and started slowing down...uh...this place didn't look so nice. It looked hella run down, several buildings down the street were boarded up, it didn't look too great....Bruce looked at me, and I gave him a reassuring smile and we gathered our bags to go in. Inside the burgler bars we were pleasantly surprised. It seems that the person that owned this apartment gutted an old building and turned it into a modern, new apartment. It was perfect with a nice kitchen, 2 bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms. Perfect to say in for a long visit! It even had a roof top garden that gave an interesting view of the other apartments. Once settled, we decided that we had to give the place a chance. We set out walking and discovered that the Palermo neighborhood is everything that they described. Cool little boutiques, neighborhood stores and shops, great cafe's and my new favorite, a parilla! A parilla is a meat restaruant. They have meat on grills, with juices sizzling....every type of meat you could imagine! Gotta love the Argentinians and their love of meat!!!

Meat!!!

It was a very cool, laid back vibe in Argentina. We pretty much walked around, ate and drank every day UNTIL....Bruce got the Spanish Flu (courtesy of my kisses!!!). Of course, I felt fine but poor Bruce got real sick! I made several trips to the local Farmacia and stores to get OJ, tissues, NyQuil, everything that you would need to nurse a sickie back to health. I have to admit, I got a little scared a couple of days because he had such difficulty with breathing. We were actually considering taking him to the hospital at one point. He had developed a mild pneumonia but thank goodness we had antibiotics that we had brought with us that we were saving for a diarrhea that we never got!  The good news was that we had nice, long days of doing nothing at all. Just laying around the apartment, watching TV. I even got a chance to cook!!! Anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE to cook and being on the road this long has deprived me of my pots and pans. Being in an apartment for so long gave me the chance to feel "normal" again.
Although Bruce was ill, we did get a chance to make it out to a tango show at the famous Carlos Gaudel Theater in Buenos Aires. The show was spectacular!!! I never knew that Tango was so important to the culture of the city! They are serious about the dance! Carlos Gaudel is a famous Tango dancer from the early 1900's that went on to open one of the most famous schools in Buenos Aires. Tango has roots in a combination of African, Caribbean and Spanish dance styles. It was originally thought of as a "sinful" dance style, only done at cabarets or clubs frequented by sailors on shore leave. When it caught on with the "refined" people of Buenos Aires, it was cleaned up and adopted by the upper class as the national dance style of the country. It was excellent, but I think that I like the fierce passion of the Flamenco in Spain better!

On our way to the Tango show

The famous Carlos Gaudel Theater, home of the Tango dance

The city of Buenos Aires itself is pretty amazing in that it is a collection of little neighborhoods that are pretty self contained. You literally have NO reason to leave you own neighborhood unless you really want to. You have several stores, restauraunts, cafe's and parillas that keep you happy. No one needs a car and we walked everywhere we needed to go.

Tree lined streets of the Palermo neigborhood

The Argentinian Flag

The Football museum outside the stadium

The National Congress Building

The history of the city was very interesting and the influence of French and Italian is very obvious in culture, cuisine and architecture. Unfortunately, Buenos Aires is very DIRTY. There are almost 13 million people living in the Buenos Aires metro area and boy, do you notice it!!! There were tons of people on the streeets, in cars, in cabs in buses and there was tons of exhaust and fumes that made the air less than pleasant on hot spring days. My other complaint? The dog shit!!! I have never seen a city with so many dogs! Argentenians love dogs. That's nice. We saw lots of dog walkers, doggie boutiques and vet offices. I also saw all of the shit produced by these lovely pooches. Walking down the street to the store was like walking thur a Cambodian mine field. Crap was everywhere!!! Damn people!!! Curb your dog! ugh!
The rest of the folly of errors occured during our last several days in Buenos Aires. We were supposed to go to Peru to see the famous Machu Picchu. Mother nature decided that via deluge, she would wipe out the only railway to get to the famous ruins. Months after the flood/mudslide, the train was only partially open. We learned that our train tickets were no good and that we would have to take a 3.5 bus ride from another city up to Machu Picchu that they wouldn't pay for. After the drama and the weather reports of more rain in Peru, we decided to scrap Machu Picchu. We still had to go to Lima and stay for a couple of days to catch a flight to Miami (yes, we were in the US) before we could go to our next destination, Belize!

We added Belize on as a last minute, what-the-hell, place since we had more time to waste.
We did some research in Buenos Aires and decided that we wanted to go somewhere slow, with good diving and not very touristy for out last month of freedom. Belize fit the bill. We considered the more "traditional" places in the Caribbean but we didn't want to be bombarded by "American" life so soon. We wanted to avoid all semblance of our former lives until we absolutely had to come back!

It was nice to get to slow down and re-charge our batteries for a while. This stop over came at the perfect time. Unfortunately, being sick kinda hindered our opportunity to go out and explore the countryside but we really needed the rest. It was good to take it slow for a couple of weeks before we were off to our last country...
Check back soon for a full breakdown on our last country before we come back home

You can check out all of the pics from Buenos Aires and Lima, Peru by clicking here

Spanish Fly

After our wonderful Italian getaway, we were off to the cool city of Barcelona. Barcelona was the complete opposite of Italy. It was young, hip and very modern. The contrasts of the city were great. In one area you would have an old home built in the 19th century next to a modern sculpture/building designed by Gaudi.

Typical Barcelona: Old statue with new construction around it

Old Barcelona-Placa d'Espanya

Now if you don't know about Antoni Gaudi, coming to Barcelona you will be innudated with Gaudi images. The Spanish are very proud of him. Not only was he an amazing architect but he is responsible for designing several huge structures and parks around Barcelona. You see references to Gaudi everywhere in Barcelona. He is definitely the Barcelona patron saint! I want to be honest. I never thought very much about Gaudi's style of architecture/design. It struck me as a Dr. Seuss on LSD with a math degree from MIT kinda design style. I just didn't get it. I'm sure if I saw some of these building in 1960's with some mushrooms/acid on board they would be more awesome. Actually, I have a much better appreciation for his style now. Especially after realizing that it takes a true mathematical genius to make these structure. Bruce (being the engineer in the family) really enjoyed the Gaudi exhibitions.

Example of Gaudi's architecture

Parc Guell, an amazing park designed by Gaudi

A building in Gaudi's park...very Dr. Seuss-y

Arriving in Barcelona I started to notice that I didn't feel too hot. I figured that I just needed a little rest and all of the travel, ripping and running was wearing me down. We had been in the coldest of the cold for the past month and the sunshine and relative heat of Barcelona was a welcome change. Barcelona wasn't hot by any stretch of the imagination but it was a balmy 65 degrees on most days. This is how I figured out the Spanish were crazy....We are staying right on one of the famous beaches in South Barcelona, called Platja Barceloneta and one day, we decided to take a walk down the boardwalk. I had on my fleece jacket, and a scarf and pants, Bruce had on the same...The Barcelonans on the beach? BUTT ASS NAKID! Seriously people? I have so many issues with this! First of all, I'm not adverse to nudity. If  (and ONLY IF) you look decent nude. I'm no supermodel but gravity has been kind, thus far. I have two rules about nakedness or skimpy clothing. Spandex is a privlidge, not a right and if any part of your body falls down to cover any other part, you should NOT be naked! Our first Butt Naked Barcelonan was seen early in the morning when the temperature could not have been more than 55 degrees....Ouch. Secondly, he was an old man, with a saggy.....everything...yuk. He was totally stretching and exercising and bending over (OMG!) in front of God and the world. At first, Bruce and I thought he may be the resident bum/schizo/nutty dude. We even were on our way to find a police man to let him know there was a naked man running around. Imagine our shock, surprise and dismay when we stumbled upon an entire herd of elderly, shriveled Barcelonan men and women farther down the beach. Needless to say, we decided to walk on the street.

Amazing view of the beaches in Barcelona

We were supposed to have a great time in Barcelona but my Flu decided otherwise. By then end of our first day in Barcelona, I had a full blown fever complete with chills, muscle aches and pains. Wonderful! I was NOT about to let a little H1N1 ruin my trip! Thank God for the European sensibility and over-the-counter drugs! We were able to get all sorts of goodies to help me thru the worst of it. I just had to bundle up a couple of times to brave the sights of the city.
We decided to take a bus (the cheapest route) around the city. With a bus pass, we had the flexibility to check out lots of tourist spots. We knew we wanted to hit a couple of "famous" Barcelona sights. Like I said before, Barcelona is pretty famous for its favorite architect/artist in residence, Antoni Gaudi. One of our first stops was his famous church, La Sagrada Familia. This church was started back in 1882 and is STILL being built to this day! Gaudi knew that his brain child was so intricate and so big that it would not be completed in his lifetime. So now, over 100+ years later, public donations are funding the continued construction of the church. Now we've seen hundereds of famous churches, cathedrals, etc all over Europe and South America but this one was truly special. The sheer uniqueness of the design and the amout of symbolism in all of the carvings is truly breathtaking. It kinda looked like a melting candle on one side and on another facade were literally hundereds of intricate statues and carvings.

The melty-candle waxy facade of La Sagrada Familia

As we have noted before, me and Bruce are NOT cold weather people. We thought that Barcelona was a welcome change from the sub-zero temps of Denmark. At a balmy 60 degrees, we were loving life. But, thanks to the flu and a violent 30mph wind from northern Europe, our "warm" reprieve of Barcelona turned out to be a lot chillier than we hoped. No worries, we know how to layer. So, the morning we decided to brave the crowds of tourists to see La Sagrada Familia we had on long johns, scarves, hats and gloves. I noticed that people snickered when they saw us bundled up and we laughed at their asses too, with thier short sleeves, thin coats and flip flops. When that wind hit and the temperature dropped, we were the ones that had the last laugh. A lady in front of us who had on a fabulous black skirt and flip flops initially turned her nose up at us. We did look like a couple of homeless bumbs. Bruce had on the equivalent of a ski mask and I had my beloved 6 foot fleece scarf/pashma/sheet that I use to wrap up like the holiest Saudi Arabian princess. We did look crazy. But, after an hour in the whipping wind, our friend, Miss High and Mighty sought refuge in a store and came out in a silly pair of MC Hammer tourist pants she bought at the 7-11 on the corner! After the hour long wait, we were rewarded with awesome views of Gaudi's church.

La Sagrada Familia-Gaudi's crowning accomplishment

My highlight of the trip was seeing an authentic Flamenco show in a exquisite recreated Spanish village. I had only a peripheral knowledge of the Flamenco dance. I knew about the costumes and the fact it was a kinda sexy dance. I wasn't prepared for this amazing show. It was a tribute to one of the most famous Flamenco dancers of all times, Carmen (whoo-hoo!) Amaya, a gypsy born in 1913 who was an amazing dancer. She was beautiful, exotic, sexy and a great dancer. (I was describing me, but she was all of those things too:)) She was so good that she danced for the Spanish king, Alfonso XIII. The show is dedicated to her memory and the great Flamenco dance style. If you haven't seen Flamenco, its a very interesting combination of singing, guitar riffs, passion, emotion and dance steps that are a combination of African and Spanish. It is beautiful! The show was moving and it could not have been more perfect! Hopefully, we will be able to load a couple of segments of the show.

Flamenco dancer

Flamenco singer...don't know what the hell she was saying, but I know she FELT it!!!

The passion and feeling was evident in the dancers

What tour to Barcelona would be complete without a stop at a local cafe for some serious paella? Bruce had some of the best paella I've ever seen. The hallmark of good paella is good rice and lots of mystery meat. My new rule: If you can't recognize the meat in the dish, don't ask, just enjoy!

Our usual food porn...Spanish Paella this time!

Although our time in Barcelona was plagued with the plague, butt naked old men on the beach and the return of the whipping cold, we got the opportunity to rest and live like "locals". I really enjoyed the history and the culture of the city and would love to venture back to explore more (minus the fever).

You can check out all of our pictures from Barcelona (minus the naked old men) by clicking here

What do you Feel Like Eating? Italian or Italian?

This had to be the place I was anticipating the most. I had always wanted to go to Italy since I was a little girl. I think it was a combination of the lure of the people, the romantic history, the amazing art and of course, the FOOD! Like all women, I had seen movies like "Roman Holiday" and "Under the Tuscan Sun" and dreamed about my Italian get away. We really agonized on where we should hit in Italy. We immediately crossed Rome off the list because we had heard horror stories about how the city is crowded and dirty and how rude the people could be. I am not one to believe stereotypes about people or places but my rule is that if more than 3 independent sources tell you the same thing, i'm inclined to believe it. Needless to say, Rome got crossed off...quick. Bruce and I had always wanted to go to Venice. Especially since the city is essentially dying. Venice in the 1960-1970's actually had a robust population of over 500K inhabitants. Now, the number has dwindled to less than 60K full time inhabitants. Even worse, continued flooding and rising water levels has threatened to wipe the 1500 year old city off of the map. We decided Venice or Venezia as it is known in Italian was a "must see" place.
We arrived in Venice after another day of long travel from London. Venice and London aren't that far apart in distance, but we wanted the cheapest route possible. That meant flying from Copenhagen (our last destination) to London (a one hour flight) followed by a 7 hour layover in London, followed by another short flight from London to Venice.
We arrived in Venice and immediately remembered that this is a city of water. We landed at the airport and realized that there was NO way to our hotel via land. We would have to take either a water taxi (Vaporretti) or the public water bus. We were tired, our bags weighing us down and we both wanted to just take the private taxi...then we found out the price...$90 per person!!!! HELL TO THA NAW (just like Whitney Houston would say!) For $90 per person, I should get a foot and back massage and big, half naked man carrying me around on his back!!! DAMN! Ok, we are so public water bus people. There was nothing wrong with the public water bus. It was nice, clean but of course, the hitch...the 10-15minute ride from the airport to the area of our hotel was stretched out to about 90 minutes. We stopped everywhere in Venice and then some. I fell asleep, it took forever but it only cost us $26!

Water "streets" of Venice

So we arrived at our stop, in front of the famous San Marco Piazza in Venice. If you didn't know, this is the heart of the "tourist" city. The location of St. Mark's Basilica, the Dodge's Palace and all of the best museums. We were armed with a map and a clear sense of where our hotel should be. Or so we thought!
Why didn't someone tell us that alleys are considered streets in Venice..AND they don't have signs. After hauling our big, heavy crapy over several bridges and down cobblestone streets we were ready to give up. I know its hard to imagine but there are NO CARS in Venice. No taxis around to help you, nothing. All the streets are narrow, like only able to accomodate two people walking shoulder to shoulder! Just when the idea of sleeping in an alley seemed like a good idea, the Angel of Travel told me to look up. Just like that, I saw a random sign pointing the way to our hotel. The only problem was that the damn sign was pointing down a dark alley. "Is that a street?", I said?  Hell, after an a two hour water bus ride and another hour of hauling luggage down cobblestone streets I didn't give a hell about being jacked, knifed or killed. I figured that we'd had enough fun to die.

The narrow "street" leading towards our hotel

We turned down the alley, then followed another sign down another alley and found ourselves into a small, dead-end courtyard with our hotel tucked into the corner. It was completely dark except for the lights from the hotel. THANK GOD! Just the beginning of our Venetian adventure...

Our hotel, tucked into the corner of a piazza

After a great night of sleep (thanks to exhaustion and pain) we woke up to a crappy, cloudy, Venetian day. And it was cold...awesome. Honestly, I didn't care about the weather. In fact, it really gives you the opportunity to appreciate a city. If you can love a place when it is cold and dreary, you really love it. (Kinda like loving someone when they are young and fine and then they get old and fat)....

In front of San Maria di Salute

Bruce in the famed Piazza di San Marco

We had a map of the city, but it was useless. Every street had side alleys which were not named on the map but happened to hide little treasures like authentic "mom and pop" restaurants and shops. It was fun ducking in and out little stores and alleys. It was like you were discovering the city for the first time.

We found our way to a restaurant for lunch and had the most amazing, authentic Italian food! (what'd you expect?) Herein is where the problem lies. Me and Bruce are early risers. We need our breakfast to start the day. Half of the free world doesn't eat breakfast. Not what we call breakfast at least. Our first experience with Italian breakfast they tried to give us a crossaint and coffee. What am I supposed to do with that?! That's like a breafast appetizer! Where are the eggs? Bacon? More carbs? When I asked for something else, he offered me a chocolate crossaint. Ok, after explaining to him we needed more "food" food, the man smiled nicely and offered us a panini. Ok, more like what I was talking about but WTF on the price!!! A ham an cheese panini with coffee at a little alley cafe came out to $20! That is not a breakfast! Thank God, lunch and dinner more than made up for it. My favorite thing about Italians is how they eat...Dinner is a long, drawn out event that can take hours. Please don't go there and get impatient because the waiter hasn't come over within 5 minutes of you sitting down. They don't believe that a meal should be a timed Olympic event like we do in the US. A meal is something that should be savored, relished and enjoyed with friends and family. I think as Americans we are so used to the Chili's waitress brining the check with the entree that we can't fathom sitting for an hour, just talking after dinner is finished. Either that or we are so busy trying to make it home to clean, pack lunch, check email, pay bills and watch TV before the next day of work. Italians truly have a better way of looking at meal time! A typical Italian meal schedule looks like this:
7-Arrive at restaurant
730-800-Talk to you family/friends
8-815-Order/argue over what everyone gets
815-830-Talk some more
830-900-Eat antipasti
9-915-Talk some more
915-930-Eat First course of meal
930-10-Eat second course of meal
10-1030-use toothpicks to pick out rest of meal, re-digest it and talk some more over coffee and grappa
1030-11-Talk about things you haven't talked about yet
11-1130-Go home because the restaurant is closing

Bruce enjoying his seafood pasta

Its not just the quality of the meal time but the sheer quantity of food that they give you. Who in the hell can eat all of this!? We sat down and the first menu has antipasti. Usually, cheese, meats or "finger foods" that we would call an appetizer. Ok, we got one. It took about 30 minutes for our cold meat and cheese platter to get to us...I'm trying to stay in the "Italian mind set" but I was wondering after 20 minutes...did they have to go milk a cow to make the cheese? Damn! After we killed our antipasti, we get another menu for the "First course". What is a first course? We asked, and were told "Itsa first course". Ok, that cleared a lot up. The first course looked like what we consider "main". Mostly pastas. So we ordered our pasta dishes thinking this was it. Two giant bowls of pasta arrived (30 minutes later..they had to make the pasta fresh...for real!). We made it thru and sat back, fully fat and happy from our Italian meal. Or so we thought. Then the waiter magically appears with the "Main Course" menu...WTF? I can't eat anything else! I thought the pasta was it!!! After some mild harrassment and the mention that the meal was for everything....not just some, we figured we mine as well suck it up and order our due course. Now, you know i'm greedy but I was actually worried that they would make me eat more after the main. We some how implored them not to make us eat two desserts but did have the coffee. After approximately 2 hours of waiting and about 30 minutes of eating, we still had to wrangle our waiter for the check. They seemed shocked that we wanted to leave after a short 3 hour meal....Gotta love the Italians!
I truly thought Venice was an amazingly beautiful city. It is old!!! Like traveling back in time. We saw a home that was in the same family continuously since the 1400's (my family can't even keep a phone number more than 5 years!). The culture and rich artwork is apparent everywhere you go. Of course, we had to wander into one of the famous museums and had the opporutnity to see art and paintings dating back to the 2nd century. It was amazing and we are not big museum people. Our favorite part of the city was just walking. Every street, every alley told a story and held some type of history. We could actually see the effect of the rising waters in the city. In fact, it is now illegal to rent or live in an apartment on the ground floor in Venice since the flooding is so common and getting worse.

Quiet waterway in Venice

Venice was also a city of amazing contrasts. It was crazy to see a building built in 1300 with a Burberry shop and a Gucci shop in it. These people like to shop and they love to be fashionable. I'm really not sure if they were native Italians or just tourists but everyone was dressing their asses off! We looked like homeless slobs next to 90% of the population in Venice. We actually almost starved to death not because we couldn't find somewhere open (like in Amsterdam or Copenhagen) but because we weren't dressed nice enough to eat in most establishments. We didn't come on this trip to go to nice, fancy restaurants. In fact, we specifically left dress clothes at home. I brought one dress from Old Navy (not dressy by any strech of the imagination) and Bruce had one dress shirt but no slacks. None of our little wardrobe pieces could get us into the "nice" restauraunts. We didn't care. We were all about the bootleg, mom and pop establishments.

Old building, new shops-Italians love their designers!

Aside from our aimless wandering and our museum visits we did take a boat to the nearby island of Murano, home of the famous Venetian glass blowers. I'm not going to lie, in my ignorance I didn't know that Venice was famous for its glass art but we had the opportunity to learn about the rich history and see some of the works of one of its most famous artists. We toured a factory in Muran and actually got to see a master glass blower at work. In front of our eyes, within the span of 10 minutes, he made an amazing glass horse with just his mouth and a couple of rudimentary tools! Amazing!

Master Glassblower in Murano, Italy

The finished product! A little Glass horse

Master Glassblower making a vase in Murano, Italy

We spend 4 magical days in the rainy, cloudy city of Venice (I'm so thankful for the lack of heat and crowds, i can't complain about weather) and we were off to the area of Tuscany. Now many of you don't realize that Tuscany is NOT a city. You can't buy a ticket to "Tuscany". It s a region, like the "South" of the United States. You can't get on Orbitz and put in "South" as a destination. Tuscany is considered the region of mid Italy which includes Florence (its major city), Siena and literally hundereds of hill towns around the area. It is of couse, famous for its wine region (Chianti), food (olives, cheeses) and amazingly well preserved hill fortresses and towns. To get to the Tuscan region, we chose to stay in Florence, the main city. Once again, to save money and months on our lives, we decided to take a train from Venice to Florence rather than fly. The train was only 2hrs long and because it was a intra-Italy train, we had no security, no lines, no hassle...or so we thought. The train system in Italy was much better than the one in Denmark or Sweden by a long shot but it was still a pain in the ass. Mostly because you had no idea of where to get on the train. We could easily find which train but finding which car on the train we were supposed to sit on was a whole 'nother issue. Also, there is no common sense in boarding a train. People would get on from either direction, pushing and shoving. There were no signs and it was literally impossible to find you "assigned" seat. Despite or rocky start, we made it to Florence relatively easily. We also met an awesome couple from North Carolina on the train, Kathy and Randy. (hi, yall!!!). Had a great time talking to them and it was nice to meet someone from back home since Americans had been very few and far between in our journeys thus far....

FLORENCE and TUSCANY
Florence is so similar but so very different from Venice. Florence was more "hip" and "young". Evidenced by all of the much younger people in town. We were told that Florence is the home a huge university and thus, you have a much better night life and more diversity. For our first time since being in Italy, we found a non-Italian restaruant! It was still a little like finding a needle in a haystack but we found one. Our plan for Florence was to hit at least one famous museum and then to use it as a "home base" to explore the Tuscan countryside. Our first day in Florence, we decided we were going to go to the famous Uffizi Gallery. Now, like I said, we are not big museum people but we knew we had to do this one. Not only does it house some of the greatest classical works like Botticelli, Rembrant, Rafael and Michealangelo but it also had and amazing collection of Roman and Greek works from BC! The galley is so popular that hotels and tourist chains sell "reservations" to the museum. Its just like going to a movie! You have to get there at your assigned time to get in. You pay and extra $10 euro for the service but if you could have seen the line, you woulda paid too!! We spent a couple of hours in the museum, saw the big impressive paintings like Botticelli's Venus and several sketches by Leonardo di Vinci but then we decided we were museumed out. We figured this out when we found ourselves, tired on a bench staring at a huge marble statue of some Greek god trying to figure out how does one find the correct instrument to chisel an ass crack....:)
Ok, time to leave the Uffizi!

Intricate ceiling paintings inside of the Duomo

City of Florence with the Duomo in the background

TUSCANY HERE WE COME!
The next day we planned an all day affair in the famous Tuscan countryside. Our one goal was to visit a couple of vineyards in Chianti and small hillside villages where we could sample some local, traditional Tuscan cuisine. When planning a tour around the Tuscan countryside you have several options: you could rent a car and make it on your own with maps, you could do the huge tour group with a big bus or you could spend the xtra $$$ and hire a private guide. Now, this is not a "splurge" vacation, contrary to popular belief. We have a strict budget and we saved the money for the entire trip before we left. Because it is not a splurge we cannot buy things-no souveneirs,no clothes and our meals must be chosen wisely, etc. However, because we both wanted to enjoy this region, we splurged and hired a private tour guide. That turned out to be the best idea we've had! We chose to go with a small, solo tour outfit called Tours Around Tuscany. Gianni was the owner, operator and our tour guide extrodinare! Gianni had a intimate knowledge of his country becase he was born and raised in Siena, the largest and most populous cities in the Tuscan region, outside of Florence. Gianni was probably the best tour guide we have ever had and well worth the money. After picking us up from the train station in Siena, he immediately gave us an orientation of the area, including a discussion of the climate and history of the area.  The benifit of going with Gianni was that we were with a native, we were able to make it to smaller, off the map villages and he was horribly knowledeble about everything about Tuscany. Our first stop was an amazingly well preserved village called San Gusme. The place looked like something out of a movie. Only 100 people lived there, there were no cars because the streets were cobblestone and narrow and quaint. There was no supermarket, no tourist shop, no pharmacy. Just locally owned businesses and small storefronts. It was breathtaking. Even more amazing, we were the only ones in the village. There were no big groups of tourists, no bus parked outside, just us and Gianni, walking around the village on a quiet day. The best part of the village was our opportunity to visit a local vinter. This man was 84 years old and had spent his entire life making a bottling Chianti Classico wine. His "winery" was a little warehouse with bottles stacked everywhere! It was unreal. While we were marveling over the tiny warehouse with wine eveywhere, the little old man comes out with an apron on, muttering and cursing about something in Italian. When he sees us, he smiles, then continues to chatter, opening us a newly sealed bottle of his newest vintage, a 2006 Chianti Classico. The wine was smooth and full and probably one of the best i'd ever had! The kicker? The man was actually bottling the wine while we were there, we were probably the first people in the WORLD to try that particular wine!! Oh, you want better? How about the bottle was a horribly expensive $6!!!! I love this place!!!!

Bruce inside of the small, family owned winery

Learning about Chianti Classico grapes from our guide, Gianni

After having a wonderful wine tasting experience we were off to learn about more history of the Italian countryside. We stopped at several other villages, each smaller and cuter than the last. In fact, the first village we went to was the "biggest" with a robust population of 100 people. The subsequent ones had 50 and then 30 people, still living within them! It felt like we actually went through a time warp!

Small Tuscan village town of Gaiole in the Chianti region

We got the opportunity to visit an actual castle which was still inhabited by the original family since the 1400's!!! Who lives in a castle?! It was amazing and of course, because it was a castle, it had an amazing view of the rest of the countryside.

Entrance to Castle di Brolio

In front of the private residences of Castle di Brolio

We stopped at several other vineyards, sampled more amazing Chianti Classico wine then stopped for lunch at a local spot. Now you know, when no one in the joint speaks English, you KNOW the food is gonna be good!!!! We had the biggest, best lunch i've ever had! We started with two fresh homemade pastas as the first course and the second course had to be the best ribs i've ever had in my life!!! Now you know, me being from the South, saying that those were the BEST ribs ever is HUGE! But they were!!! No sauce, just bbq meat goodness!!! GOD, i LOVE this place!!!

BBQ, Italian style! MMM!

The best thing about our day in the countryside was the fact that we learned so much about Italy, its history and its food but even more, we didn't feel like tourists. We never saw a trace of any other tourists and the day was beautiful. I really appreciate our tour guide, Gianni for showing us his country and making us feel at home!

Bruce and I in the Brolio Vineyards in the Chianti region

I know this is a long blog, but I had to include a couple of closing thoughts about Italy:

Like most places on this earth, no where is perfect. There were several things that I gotta tell you about:

1) NEVER, NEVER, NEVER go to Venice or any other "tourist trap" city during the summer peak time. Most places don't have air conditioning and besides that, the crowds are horrific. Imagine the worst crowd you've ever seen, then cram them all into a street that you can only get thru while walking side by side, then take away deodarant from half of them, add humidity and heat and then you can imagine Venice in the summer. I thought we had it bad with the "mini throngs" of people but I would never change my time in Venice, even though it rained and was cold for a sunny day in June! Remember people, off season is your friend!
2) Bells are not your friend. Italy is a very Catholic country. We knew that. What we did not expect was the sheer number of churches. There were churches on every block. Some very ornate and beautiful, some very plain but no less historic. The problem is the damn church bell. It was really cute, the first couple of times we heard it, very awe inspiring and beautiful. But that beauty gets really old at 6 am when the damn bells are ringing six times to remind you that it is 6 oclock. Does the church know that i'm on vacation? It took me two months of traveling to NOT wake up at 5am like I was going to work! Not like there is any reason to wake up that early anyway! Not like you can get breakfast around here! Stop ringing the damn bell before 8 AM!!!!
3) Italians have one of the most widely spread and most imitated cusine in the world. I have been to the most random spots (Boracay, Philippines) and seen an "authentic" Italian restaurant. They are a little paternalistic about their food. So if you do not like Italian...I mean LOVE Italian--like you could eat it breakfast, lunch and dinner--then Italy may not be the best place for you. We walked all over Venice and could not find more than one or two non-Italian restaurants! I don't know if its illegal to open something different or what but you will die if you don't like Italian food.  Bruce acually said "I'm tired of eating Italian" and Italian is one of his favorite foods!!! We went on the eqivalent of a scavenger hunt, trying in vain to find something other than Italian food. Don't get me wrong, Italy is more than just pizza and pasta but the seasoning for meats, fish, and pasta are very similar in certain regions. After three days of Italian food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, we had a mini-breakdown and went on a hunt for some sort of alternative. What did we find? A Burger King!!!
I was embarassed to go in, but after smelling the sweet french fry grease and the sizzle of the flame broiler I didn't give a damn about what Italians thought about our "horrible" American cuisine!!!

I enjoyed our time in Italy and I am lucky that we got the opportunity to go (off season!) when we did. From the tight little alley ways in Venice to the rambling cobblestone squares in Florence and the horrible church bells that start at 6am, it was an amazing experience in history, culture and FOOD!
Ciao!!!!

I can't explain how beautiful the country is but take a look at all of our pictures from Italy