"USA Number 1 !"

Ok we left beautiful, affable, peaceful Thailand to go to the Maldives.  We had to pass through Sri Lanka (otherwise known as Ceylon by the Dutch and British colonizers of the 15th and 17th centuries) for a day.  This was an adventure and certainly not for the novice or leisure vacationer.  As we were packing to leave from Thailand, we saw on the BBC that the government had to imprison its leading general and hero of the 20 year civil war for planning a military coup!!!! Of course, General Fonseca's supporters were in the streets of downtown Colombo in violent protest.  If we were at home, this would be another one of those far off news stories about people we don't know that has no bearing on our lives.  But we are not at home and we are landing in the middle of this crisis! I tried not to show it, but I was worried. I had done some reading about this civil war and it was long and there were definately some bloodshed.  As a matter of fact, they do the "Off with your head" thing around here quite frequently! Anyhow, when we got to the gate, there were plenty of Asians and the requisite crazy ass European backpackers going for vacation in a war torn country.  Anyway, they didn't look too worried, so I played right along with them. But we definately had a back up plan, just in case.... We called our travel agent to have other flights ready just in case an internet flash came across my phone saying that martial law had been called in Sri Lanka. That is a good piece of advice, when travelling overseas (besides Canada or the peaceful parts of the Carribean), I would use a travel agent.  It's worth the extra $50-$100 for emergency situations like this when you need a quick change or help with a screw up at a hotel or a pre paid tour or something. 

We got on board where I noticed a fashionably dressed kid with a blackberry sitting next to me across the aisle. He looked typically Sri Lankan, very dark skinned with straight black hair.  But he spoke remarkably clear english with an american accent rather than British.  He kept smiling at us and nodding.  So I finally spoke to him.  Talk about a small world! Turns out the kid went to Mercer College in Macon, GA on a tennis scholarship! He works for a multi national firm and travels to California quite a bit, so he was practically American.  Great, we talked awhile about Georgia and California, and Sri Lanka.  he told us not to worry about the protests or the civil war.  Sri Lankans save their violence for each other (sound familiar?) and pretty much understand that touching westerners is a big no - no.  I told him desperate people do desperate things, a 20 year civil war sounds like desperate times? He assured me, if it was going to happen it would've a long time ago.  Besides there was nothing to gain from either side for doing something like kidnapping tourists; both sides want our money!;)  That was enough for me, I relaxed and settled in.

Upon arrival to the airport we were greeted with the hardest stares I've ever encountered on my travels. All through baggage claim and outside waiting for taxis, these people studied us like we were a damn Physics book!  They really stared at Carmen.  It was almost like they were leering at her. I got all the attention in Thailand.  The women always giggled and whispered when I passed by,"Wow, big man, big man".  Of course because where we were they had never seen an african american man, and there men tend to be smaller than us steroid fed americans.  Here in Sri Lanka, the phrase was always directed at Carmen," where are you from Madam? or Wow what do we have here?" I started to say a beautiful sister who happens to be my wife, so back the hell up and give her some space.  But I refrained from reverting to the ghetto.  I like to consider myself a traveller (not a vacationer, I'll explain later) and a renaissance man, I have three degrees, I find it more challenging to think myself out of bad situations rather than just knocking people the f--- out! However, I started to feel that swagger coming on.  the hair on my neck was standing up and I could sense Carmen was becoming more uncomfortable with every new stare.  We got in the cab and drove out of the airport.  There were soldiers posted at the exit and entrance of the airport checking passports.  Teenage boys with AK-47s strapped on are the soldiers posted at the checkpoints.  He looked at our passports, then at us and said,"USA #1" and smiled with the whitest pearly whites.  he dapped me up and nodded at me, "USA has best technology, USA #1".  What a relief!  It all came together, these folks love us! Especially African Americans. That's why all of the stares. They have only seen Will Smith, Denzel, or Beyonce on their televisions. Nobody like these larger than life characters in real life! I'm sure the men wondered if Carmen could move like Beyonce or sing like Alicia Keys? They probably wondered what she smelled like, hell, I wondered what she smelled like the first time I saw her :) So ladies, remember when you come to Sri Lanka the stares will be in awe not in contempt.  And please where something conservative, they don't need to see your bosom or butt crack to think you are beautiul.  They are muslim or hindi, they probably couldn't handle seeing a sister like that in real life (they are used to the European women walking around half naked). I later befriended a Sri Lankan in the Maldives and he explained to me that even though his country and the Maldives for that matter are Muslim countrys, they love America.  they think of us as the "good guys".  they don't know about slavery and our history of colonization like they do the Europeans.  This is the reputation that George Bush damaged that hopefully Obama will restore.  They love our movies, our music, our clothes, our freedom. They love that we come to the aid of other people, like we did after the 2004 Tsunami, like we are doing in Haiti, etc..  The power of the media and art, huh? They think we are all rich and powerful and can do almost anything we want.  They really only see the best of us.  The only americans that come here are engineers coming to work on their dams and power grid. They may see the occasional statesman and his entourage.  All they know is that I-phones, most airplanes, guns, and computers come from the good ole' USA.  So remember this the next time you are in a third world country and they are trying to swindle you out of a couple of dollars. They think you can spare it:) I usually let them do it, after all paying an extra five bucks for an item, is a small price to pay to be thought of as "the good guys".  Besides, it'll come back to you.  Carmen and I got the royal treatment upon arrival to the Taj Hotel which is the only five star near the airport, it was a whopping $80/ night!They put us in the Royal Palace suite and the hotel manager came out of his office to personally escort us! The star treatment!  We will definately be back to Sri Lanka. I must admit, I've been down on my homeland because of all the trouble lately.  Today, in Sri Lanka, I miss her... I miss the USA that my military father, uncles, brother, cousins, and grandgather fought for, the USA that my ancestors built, the USA where hard work and sacarifice meant something, the USA that cares about people and their freedom and not just their oil or copper or magnesium, the USA I thought I would inherit.......

Dumb Things We Do

Bruce and I were relaxing on the beach, talking about the not-so-smart things we have done. When my parents read this they are going to crap a brick! You have to understand that I'm a statistical thinker..I think about dangerous things based on the idea "What are the chances that I'll get killed doing _____ (fill in the blank)?" I know that going into a cage with a cheetah was probably a dumb idea, but i figured "what the hell?" How often do you hear about some tourist getting mauled and killed by a captive cheetah? We also take major risks on food. We think its a brilliant idea to eat where the locals eat. So when I see fly paper hanging in the restaurant and dogs wandering around inside, i KNOW the food is gonna be good!!! I'm gonna try it!!! So that's the way I think. 
I kept thinking in my statistical mode while we were in Thailand, packing getting ready to come to the Maldives. We didn't have a straight flight to the Maldives, in fact, we had an overnight stopover in Colombo, Sri Lanka.  I wouldn't have batted an eye but on the BBC News, two days before we were leaving Thailand, we see on the news violent protests in the streets of downtown Colombo protesting the arrest of the opposition leader to the current president.  It wasn't just minor protests...The news reported it as "like a war zone" and "tear gas cannons shot" and "several protesters injured"...Me and Bruce calmly watched the news show, looked at each other and then shrugged and said..."I'm sure we'll be fine"
We decided to continue on and not only fly to Colombo as scheduled but leave the airport to go to a nearby hotel! I don't complain about a lot of the places that we go, in fact, i think that it is quite funny when we get the obligatory stares that come with the territory of traveling to parts unknown but DAMN!!!!! If staring at me could have been a Olympic competition then the men of Sri Lanka would get GOLD MEDALS!!!! Jeez!! Bruce thought it was funny, at first and then it started to unnverve him too.  We are totally unsure as to why I was the favorite thing to leer at. I know better than to go to a muslim country dressed like a street walker. In fact, i purposely sweated it out in long pants and a  long sleeved shirt despite 90 degreee heat because I wanted to be respectful of the culture. So they weren't staring at any "uncovered flesh". We have  several ideas about why i was so interesting to them but I'll let Bruce tell you his silly thoughts on his blog...
Needless to say, we were leaving the airport and we see several teenaged soldiers armed with AK-47 assult rifles in and outside the airport...Now, any persons with common sense would probably stay their asses in the airport but we were like "screw it!" we wanted to lay down for a while. So we threw common sense and caution to the wind and got a ride to the closest (nice) airport hotel.  It was very interesting driving thru the military check points, complete with more young soldiers with their assault rifles slung across them. We were also loving the 20 foot high cut out bilboards to their president all over the city. We giggled to think about what would happen to a 20 foot likeness of Obama in the city (ha!)
The hotel was very nice, very clean and the people treated us like a million dollars. They even put us in their nicest room which ran us a whopping $80!

In the morning, we headed back to the interesting airport, past more security and more lines....
Oh, a note about the lines...Once again, this shows the huge differences in culture between the US and Asians.  There is an unspoken rule about lines, breaking lines and controlled chaos.  My favorite is the cutting in line. In many Asian countries, people will cut and most folk will let them. Usually, the only protests about cutting are from either Americans or Europeans. We Westeners complain about everything!!!
My other favorite experience is the controlled chaos in the airport. There is no "boarding by rows" in Asia. It it more like "On you mark, get set, GO!" People stampede the door (in a polite, non crazy way with just minor jostling and shoving) and the plane gets boarded in record time!!! We wished we could use the concept in the US but we know that our people would fight...we are a lot more violent :) Also, traveling in Asia is so much easier when you are worried about your  baggage weight. That is because Asians will have 8-10 pieces of luggage per person, each weighing 50-100lbs each.  It is totally entertaining to stand in line and see women trying to manuever those massive carts, luggage stacked so high they can't see..Also, you can't forget the "pack anything, living or dead" rule. We were standing in line, getting our boarding passes and all of a sudden, a box a lady just put on the conveyor belt bursts open. The smell was horrible. They stopped the belt and went to inspect the box. They lady had actually packed FISH (no ice, just wrapped up in plastic) and put it in a box to be shipped as luggage!!! SERIOUSLY?!! We were laughing our asses off!!! It was more funny because we have seen it all. The guy in Japan that brought a huge icebox as a carryon then proceeded to open it in the airport and serve a picnic lunch to his family of 4....(Awesome). Or our ultimate favorite...customs in Los Angeles! Because LA is the "gateway from Asia" you see some doozies in customs. Like the lady in front of us who had a baby tree in her suitcase she had brough with her from Vietnam, or the family from China that bough 3 boxes full of bootleg tapes/CDs with them...funny!! I love the exasperated look on the Customs agent's faces....its classic.
Anyway, we made it safe out of Colombo and now we are in the beautiful Maldives.  This country is so beautiful it hurts. Anytime the water off the the main pier and dock is so clear that you can see to the bottom you know that the place is pristine.

We arrived in Male, the captial of the Republic of the Maldives on yesterday. The Maldives is as close to heaven as people can get. The country is actually a collection of almost 2000 small islands and atolls stretched over hundreds of miles in the Indian Ocean.  The other thing that it is well known for is its flat topography. There is no where in the entire country that is more than 7 feet above sea level!!! The water is known for being "gin clear" and you can literally see straight to the bottom in shallow water. It is very unique in that the airport is located on a very small island by itself. In fact, aside from the airport, the landing strip

 (that's all it is...see the picture?) and an airport hotel, the island doesn't have anything else on it. You can see the capital city of Male across the water but it requires a water taxi or ferry to get there. Most of the islands are connected by water taxi. The surprising thing about the Maldives is that is is a Islamic country (i totally didn't know that) and the people are an interesting mix of Indian, Sri Lankan and Bangledeshi. These are some of the darkest people of Asian descent I have ever seen!  They have their own language which is a mix between Asiatic and Arabic although everyone speaks English and the US dollar is totally accepted.
We are only here for one day before we take off on our dive safari in the Indian Ocean but we are already regretting not spending more time here (like we had an option, this place is HELLA EXPENSIVE!!!) In fact, we booked the cheapest room we could find at the airport hotel, not on the cool overwater bungalos on a private island like you see on the TV. No, we have a room at the hotel so close to the airport we hear the jets taking off and landing all day and night and that room is $300!!!!! OMG! You don't want to know how much one of the "swanky" resorts cost...ugh.  Needless to say, this place is very interesting. We will catch you up with all of the sights and fun stuff about here when we come back from our dive trip next week...