Dumb Things We Do

Bruce and I were relaxing on the beach, talking about the not-so-smart things we have done. When my parents read this they are going to crap a brick! You have to understand that I'm a statistical thinker..I think about dangerous things based on the idea "What are the chances that I'll get killed doing _____ (fill in the blank)?" I know that going into a cage with a cheetah was probably a dumb idea, but i figured "what the hell?" How often do you hear about some tourist getting mauled and killed by a captive cheetah? We also take major risks on food. We think its a brilliant idea to eat where the locals eat. So when I see fly paper hanging in the restaurant and dogs wandering around inside, i KNOW the food is gonna be good!!! I'm gonna try it!!! So that's the way I think. 
I kept thinking in my statistical mode while we were in Thailand, packing getting ready to come to the Maldives. We didn't have a straight flight to the Maldives, in fact, we had an overnight stopover in Colombo, Sri Lanka.  I wouldn't have batted an eye but on the BBC News, two days before we were leaving Thailand, we see on the news violent protests in the streets of downtown Colombo protesting the arrest of the opposition leader to the current president.  It wasn't just minor protests...The news reported it as "like a war zone" and "tear gas cannons shot" and "several protesters injured"...Me and Bruce calmly watched the news show, looked at each other and then shrugged and said..."I'm sure we'll be fine"
We decided to continue on and not only fly to Colombo as scheduled but leave the airport to go to a nearby hotel! I don't complain about a lot of the places that we go, in fact, i think that it is quite funny when we get the obligatory stares that come with the territory of traveling to parts unknown but DAMN!!!!! If staring at me could have been a Olympic competition then the men of Sri Lanka would get GOLD MEDALS!!!! Jeez!! Bruce thought it was funny, at first and then it started to unnverve him too.  We are totally unsure as to why I was the favorite thing to leer at. I know better than to go to a muslim country dressed like a street walker. In fact, i purposely sweated it out in long pants and a  long sleeved shirt despite 90 degreee heat because I wanted to be respectful of the culture. So they weren't staring at any "uncovered flesh". We have  several ideas about why i was so interesting to them but I'll let Bruce tell you his silly thoughts on his blog...
Needless to say, we were leaving the airport and we see several teenaged soldiers armed with AK-47 assult rifles in and outside the airport...Now, any persons with common sense would probably stay their asses in the airport but we were like "screw it!" we wanted to lay down for a while. So we threw common sense and caution to the wind and got a ride to the closest (nice) airport hotel.  It was very interesting driving thru the military check points, complete with more young soldiers with their assault rifles slung across them. We were also loving the 20 foot high cut out bilboards to their president all over the city. We giggled to think about what would happen to a 20 foot likeness of Obama in the city (ha!)
The hotel was very nice, very clean and the people treated us like a million dollars. They even put us in their nicest room which ran us a whopping $80!

In the morning, we headed back to the interesting airport, past more security and more lines....
Oh, a note about the lines...Once again, this shows the huge differences in culture between the US and Asians.  There is an unspoken rule about lines, breaking lines and controlled chaos.  My favorite is the cutting in line. In many Asian countries, people will cut and most folk will let them. Usually, the only protests about cutting are from either Americans or Europeans. We Westeners complain about everything!!!
My other favorite experience is the controlled chaos in the airport. There is no "boarding by rows" in Asia. It it more like "On you mark, get set, GO!" People stampede the door (in a polite, non crazy way with just minor jostling and shoving) and the plane gets boarded in record time!!! We wished we could use the concept in the US but we know that our people would fight...we are a lot more violent :) Also, traveling in Asia is so much easier when you are worried about your  baggage weight. That is because Asians will have 8-10 pieces of luggage per person, each weighing 50-100lbs each.  It is totally entertaining to stand in line and see women trying to manuever those massive carts, luggage stacked so high they can't see..Also, you can't forget the "pack anything, living or dead" rule. We were standing in line, getting our boarding passes and all of a sudden, a box a lady just put on the conveyor belt bursts open. The smell was horrible. They stopped the belt and went to inspect the box. They lady had actually packed FISH (no ice, just wrapped up in plastic) and put it in a box to be shipped as luggage!!! SERIOUSLY?!! We were laughing our asses off!!! It was more funny because we have seen it all. The guy in Japan that brought a huge icebox as a carryon then proceeded to open it in the airport and serve a picnic lunch to his family of 4....(Awesome). Or our ultimate favorite...customs in Los Angeles! Because LA is the "gateway from Asia" you see some doozies in customs. Like the lady in front of us who had a baby tree in her suitcase she had brough with her from Vietnam, or the family from China that bough 3 boxes full of bootleg tapes/CDs with them...funny!! I love the exasperated look on the Customs agent's faces....its classic.
Anyway, we made it safe out of Colombo and now we are in the beautiful Maldives.  This country is so beautiful it hurts. Anytime the water off the the main pier and dock is so clear that you can see to the bottom you know that the place is pristine.

We arrived in Male, the captial of the Republic of the Maldives on yesterday. The Maldives is as close to heaven as people can get. The country is actually a collection of almost 2000 small islands and atolls stretched over hundreds of miles in the Indian Ocean.  The other thing that it is well known for is its flat topography. There is no where in the entire country that is more than 7 feet above sea level!!! The water is known for being "gin clear" and you can literally see straight to the bottom in shallow water. It is very unique in that the airport is located on a very small island by itself. In fact, aside from the airport, the landing strip

 (that's all it is...see the picture?) and an airport hotel, the island doesn't have anything else on it. You can see the capital city of Male across the water but it requires a water taxi or ferry to get there. Most of the islands are connected by water taxi. The surprising thing about the Maldives is that is is a Islamic country (i totally didn't know that) and the people are an interesting mix of Indian, Sri Lankan and Bangledeshi. These are some of the darkest people of Asian descent I have ever seen!  They have their own language which is a mix between Asiatic and Arabic although everyone speaks English and the US dollar is totally accepted.
We are only here for one day before we take off on our dive safari in the Indian Ocean but we are already regretting not spending more time here (like we had an option, this place is HELLA EXPENSIVE!!!) In fact, we booked the cheapest room we could find at the airport hotel, not on the cool overwater bungalos on a private island like you see on the TV. No, we have a room at the hotel so close to the airport we hear the jets taking off and landing all day and night and that room is $300!!!!! OMG! You don't want to know how much one of the "swanky" resorts cost...ugh.  Needless to say, this place is very interesting. We will catch you up with all of the sights and fun stuff about here when we come back from our dive trip next week...